


Friendship and Reflection

by MonikaFileFan



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, F/M, Female Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:40:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21775525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonikaFileFan/pseuds/MonikaFileFan
Summary: During significant events in her friend’s life, Ellen offers comfort and learns a few things along the way.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 28
Kudos: 142
Collections: The X-Files Third Party Drabble Challenge





	1. Her “cute” Partner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Had a prompt from Annie/admiralty 
> 
> “I loved your little drabble about Scully and Ellen, can you please write the scene they referred to in jersey devil when we know Scully referred to Mulder as cute? 🥰”

——

** _Spring, 1993_ **

  
  


Your mouth hangs open as you sweep dark curls behind your ears in astonishment. 

“...and that’s just the unclassified version of events.”

She shifts in the seat, tucks a freshly shorn copper lock behind her ear, and licks away coffee remnants from her cherry tinted lips. Nervous about the description of her life-threatening first two cases or nervous about your reaction to them, you can’t tell. 

“Wow, Dana…” 

“I know. Not your run of the mill FBI cases, and there’s certainly more where that came from.” She bites her lip, likely expecting a friendly rapid-fire of opinions; but that’s not your intention today. She’s practically giddy for the first time in months. You’re not about to spoil it. 

“Sounds dangerous,” you admit, a token of concern hidden behind a rueful smirk. You know your friend well. Know the prospect of a safe and well-structured future as a doctor guided by controlling men held little thrill for her. You know this experience is exactly what she’s been waiting for. “Dangerously thrilling, I’m sure.” 

She huffs out a nervous laugh. The laugh of someone who’s just found herself at the top of a mountain with a tightrope and no harness, only to see more looming on the horizon. “He is.”

You freeze, mug held aloft as coffee steams your lashes. _ He is. _ “He? You’re new partner with the ‘questionable’ theories and ‘out there’ taste in ties, _ he? _”

She scoffs and shakes her head, but her milky cheeks pinken with her slip of the tongue. “You’ve got that backwards, El. It’s his _ theories _that I find to be ‘out there.’ His ties are rather fitting.”

Caffeine abandoned, you nudge her elbow with yours, asking the question you really want to know. “And…”

“Mulder is… well, Mulder,” she smiles softly as you lean in, rapt. Not since that elusive doctor who tangled her up in his complicated web had Dana opened up about a man. 

She chuckles with her chin to her chest. “He’s brilliant. You know, pushy but intriguing. Regards rules as a personal challenge. Mercurial, hard for others to see him through his Spooky persona…” she pauses and catches your eye. Waiting.

“But you like him.”

She sighs, relieved you said it first. “He’s my partner.”

She nods to herself, proud in leaving it at that. And then you see _ it _ cascade across her face in the morning’s light: the expression of arousing uncertainty. Excitement. The look of Dana determined to prove herself as an intelligent daughter, strong female, and a worthy Special Agent. 

And the look of something else bubbling beneath the surface, too. 

“He’s hot, isn’t he?”

She coughs around her mug, blushes red, and stares out the window. “He’s cute.”

You pat her arm reassuringly, realizing you’re both correct, and sip your coffee in a comfortable silence.

You’ll be sure to prod again about her cute partner next time.

——

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Ellen was fun! Thoughts and feedback are always welcome!


	2. A Wine Night In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellen shares a girls night with her friend, and a drunk Scully talks about her Mulder.
> 
> Thanks to @alienqueequeg for the help on this one!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A prompt from Jaime for drunk Scully talking about how hot Mulder is. Of course, this has some angst thrown in, too.

——

** _Winter, 1997_ **

It’s been several months since you’ve last spoken. Almost a year since your last face-to-face chat at the coffee house when she announced her remission from a disease you had no idea plagued her. Her reluctance in sharing her illness with you had quickly turned the taste of your sugary latte into an acrid bitterness. At the time, you were heartbroken and hurt your best friend had suffered that without you. But now, in hindsight, it strikes you as such a _ Dana thing _ to do—protect those she loves by tucking away her plight deep beneath the surface where only she can reach it. 

Only she and one other, it seems. And tonight, as you pop the first cork of many on an aging bottle of Merlot, you’re determined to find out exactly why this lone man holds access to the depths of her abyss. 

The grandfather clock strikes eight just as a soft knock raps at your door. Dana, as punctual as ever, smiles widely under the moonlight and your heart swells at the healthy glow of her skin. You’ve missed her. 

“Dana!” You smile back and wrap your arms around her tiny frame before she can reply. “I’m so glad you agreed to a girls night in.”

“Ellen!” She nods at the brimming glass of wine in your hand as you wave her into the living room. “Coffee just didn’t seem appropriate after I heard the news.”

You cannot agree more and take a long, satisfying drink. “No, filing for divorce after your husband leaves you is certainly not coffee-worthy convo now is it?” 

“I suppose not.” 

You stare off into the distance at the family portrait on the wall. Three happy faces look back. The next one will consist of only you and your son, who is currently sleeping soundly in his father’s new one bedroom apartment. 

A gentle squeeze of your hand brings you back to your friend. Her kind blue eyes cut through the fog. “I’m sorry, El.”

You squeeze back. “I’m not.”

*

Three hours, three shots, (two for you and one for her) and three bottles of wine later, Dana giggles on the couch at your side, an empty glass slung loosely between her fingers as she continues spinning her tale of “cute” Fox Mulder and the memorable trip to the forest. 

“...but in the end, Mulder was right again, dammit,” Dana groans. Even through the alcoholic haze, you see the rapid pounding of her heart racing through her shirt. Her cheeks are flushed from more than the alcohol and a hint of a smile tugs at her red-stained mouth. 

She is beguiled. 

You sense she’s much less practiced at the art of holding her liquor these days than you are, all things considered. Heedless of future guilt at dipping your toes into her still, protective waters while she’s clearly drunk, you bravely dive right in to see how long she lets you swim through her secrets. 

“Dana, honey, tell me more about this cute partner of yours.”

She groans again, rolling her eyes. “El, I could talk for days about that man. Sometimes I’d rather do much more than talking… and he’s more than ‘cute,’ damn him.”

You choke on a swig of fruity Merlot and grin. “Oh?”

“Yeah,” she chuffs into her hollow glass, as if that thought was somehow worse than being hunted by invisible Mothmen. “The way he walks, his kind eyes, the feel of his hands brushing along my back, that fat bottom lip… He’s _ hot, _ El. Sooo very, very hot.”

“Of course he is.” You laugh, having already suspected this the first time she’d mentioned the man years ago as she sat across the table from you, blushing ear to ear. “And what is it you’d rather be doing to him than talking, Miss _ ‘It’s not like that’ _ Scully?” 

Her eyes flutter languidly as she rolls her head along the back of the couch to meet your stare. “What do you think I want, El?”

“Well, probably what most women would want to do to a man like that if they had the chance.” You swallow the last of your wine and set the glass down on the table at your feet with a _ clink _. “Fuck him.” 

You hear her gasp but there is no more giggling. Only silence reigns. 

Moments tick by as her lazy gaze sobers into narrowed concentration. “No, Ellen, I don’t.”

Confused, and frankly a little disappointed, you shake your head at her. “You don’t?”

“No.” She tears her eyes away and abruptly snags the fourth bottle of wine, pouring herself another glass. Just before she brings the liquid courage to her lips, she sighs, slurring, “I think I want to make love to him.”

“Oh…” You place a hand to her coiled back, understanding the real problem now; yet realizing as she drains her glass dry, she isn’t ready for you to speak it aloud. “You think?”

She survived cancer, for God’s sake; she deserves to be happy. You want that for her. Just because your love life has turned to shit, that doesn’t mean your best friend can’t enjoy one of her own.

“No.” Her heavy eyes lock onto yours again. They’re suspiciously wet and you can tell she’s frustrated with herself. “I know I do,” she whispers. “And that’s the worst part...”

“What is, Dana?”

You watch her swallow several times as her eyes flick to the portrait of you cradling a newborn Trent in your lap with his father beaming down proudly at the family he’s made. The clock ticks loudly over and over again before her warm hand clutches yours. 

“The worst part,” she starts, her voice soft and strained, “is wanting something so badly... but knowing it’s just too much to hope for.”

Yes, you confirm as your eyes fall shut, certainly not coffee-worthy convo indeed. 

——


	3. Love Can Hurt

——

** _Summer, 1998_ **

  
  


“What time did you say you need to pick Trent up from his play date?”

“Not for an hour, Dana. Now who’s changing the subject?”

She’s red-faced and flustered from your questioning. She is clearly hiding something—or someone—she doesn’t want you to know about yet or she’s completely clueless. Watching that familiar crease of indecision knit her brow, you’re leaning heavily toward the latter. 

“Dana, it’s a simple question,” you prod further, swirling your latte with a smile. “What exactly is your reasoning behind turning down that ridiculously handsome man rocking a body like a god?” 

Her fingers curl around her lipstick stained napkin, slowly plucking the paper to bits. Her go-to nervous habit, you recall. “I’m just not interested. That’s all.” 

You know this is far from the truth. She may have been plastered during their previous Mulder discussion, but you easily replay the moment your friend revealed more of her deep-seated feelings for this man than she would have dared to sober. 

“Hell, if you’re not, then could you put in a good word for me at least?” you tease. 

A shadow of a smirk ghosts across her lips. “You don’t need my help, El. I’m the last person you want interfering with your love life, anyway.” Her gaze drifts out your usual DC coffee house window. You can tell she’s seeing nothing and everything at once. “I can’t even figure out my own.” 

Then you see it, and instantly it all makes sense now. The wistful glow melding with a somber shadow of doubt dancing over your best friends porcelain skin. A woman undeniably in love, and irrefutably at war with it. 

You reach out and squeeze her arm. “Speaking of, how’s that ‘cute’ partner of yours anyway?” 

And then she smiles. Resigned at being _ seen,_ visibly tucking away a phantom ache of the heart… and you know.

Because love can hurt.

——


	4. Years Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Many years have passed since Ellen has seen Dana, and it’s a moment to remember.

——

_ **Summer, 2009 ** _

It’s been ten years since you’ve last seen her here and she’s late. A Dana Scully oddity to say the least. So much has happened in both of your lives that you’ve just resigned to grasping at the highlights tossed within a sea of darkness. You need this day together. You need it for the both of you. 

Just as you reach for your phone to gloat at her lack of punctuality, you spot her redhead through the glass, and wow, she’s smiling in that familiar way you’ve always greeted, as though not a day has passed.

She sweeps in through the old coffee house doors like an elegant whirlwind of cobalt and crimson: your oldest, most enigmatic friend. 

“Dana,” you breathe through a grin. Both your arms tangle and squeeze one another into a long overdue embrace. Sparse phone calls sprinkled throughout the years just doesn’t cut it anymore.

“Ellen…” She pulls back with a grin so bright that the sun streaming through the window pane seems dull in comparison. That shadow of doubt you remember seeing on her face a decade ago is replaced with what you recognize as serene happiness. 

You’ve found yours again and clearly she has finally found hers. 

“It’s so good to see you again,” you sigh and move to the table for two by the window, nostalgically joking, “a lifetime has passed since we last met here.”

She nods, exhaling with a hint of regret shining in her eyes. “Yet it feels like yesterday. It’s wonderful to see you, El.” She clutches your wrist with a look that assures you she is as happy as she seems. “I can’t wait to catch up and hear all about my soon-to-be lawyer godson, but I just had to tell you in person. To show you.” 

You tear your eyes away from her smirk, following her gesture out the fingerprint riddled window, and you see him. A tall, very handsome man leaning against a shiny SUV just feet away with a knowing twinkle in hazel eyes. 

He waves, winking your way. 

“Dana… that’s your ‘cute’ partner,” you confirm and she chuckles. “And you two are in love.”

Smiling coyly, as if she’s admitting that’s always been the case, she pats your hand and explains it all in one swooping breath. “I wanted you, my oldest friend, to meet my oldest love, my husband.” 

You gasp and see something new blossom in your friend’s gleaming eyes: Still a woman undeniably in love. But this time, she embraces it. 

——

**Author's Note:**

> This was suppose to be a drabble of 500 words or less but I just couldn’t make that cut off with this one. I’m sorry! I hope I captured the aura of their friendship through Ellen’s POV well enough. In case I didn’t make it clear enough, the 1998 timeframe was not long after Diana was assigned to TXF so tension was at a high point. And 2009 was post IWTB with Mulder and Scully enjoying their new found freedom to be in public with Ellen.


End file.
